Worth a Thousand Words
by ashedraven
Summary: Ever thought about what could happen if someone took a picture of Harry and Snape...and then made it move? Something interesting that Harry and Co. never imagined. SLASH.


** Worth a Thousand Words   
by Kay**

_Many thanks to Demeter and Karen for helping out on the beta!_

  


**Part One**

Harry stalked into the Gryffindor common room and threw his bag down on the nearest couch, not caring or giving the slightest pause when it landed on top of a startled second year. He just kept walking, causing clusters of students to scatter in attempts to move out of his path. Rarely had any of them seen the seventh year so angry, and they certainly weren't going to do anything to test his patience. 

His gaze flickered over the room's occupants until it locked onto its target. There, in the corner, sat Colin Creevy talking with his little brother. Both were completely unaware of the commotion Harry was stirring. 

"Colin," Harry barked to the boy, getting his attention. 

Colin looked up with a hopeful smile. "Hi, Harry!" 

"I need a favor," Harry said, not giving even a prelude to his intentions. 

Colin's smile widened. "Oh, anything I can do for you, Harry," he answered quickly. 

"Do you happen to have any pictures of Snape?" Harry asked, eyes narrowing dangerously. 

"No way. Why would I take any pictures of _him_?" 

"Damn it!" 

Colin looked confused. "Ummm, Harry? Why do you sound disappointed at that?" 

Harry started at the question. "No reason," he replied, shifting his eyes away before Colin could read his guilty look. 

Colin nodded slowly. "Okay." But as Harry turned to walk away, disappointment obvious in his stance, Colin said the first thing he thought of to stop him. "But I could take one for you!" 

That made Harry stop. He turned to face Colin again, a thoughtful look on his face. "Yeah?" he asked, as if the possibilty was too good to be true. 

"Of course," Colin assured him. "I'd be glad to do it for you, Harry." 

Colin got his desired response when Harry grinned widely. "Thanks, Colin. That'd be great." 

Harry turned and walked away, and Colin went back to sit with his brother, puzzled by Harry's request. 

"What do you figure Harry'd want a picture of Snape for?" Dennis asked him, shuddering at the professor's name. "It's no secret that they hate each other." 

"I know," Colin replied thoughtfully. "But I'm sure he has a reason, and I'm not going to let him down. I'll take a picture of Snape somehow." 

* * *

When Harry sat down to dinner later that night, Hermione, who was sitting opposite Harry and next to Ron, immediately started asking questions. 

"Harry, what's this I hear about you asking Colin Creevy for a picture of Snape?" 

"Oh, just a little project Ron and I are working on," he answered breezily, before trying to change the subject. "Ron, did you hear that the Chudley Cannons--" 

"Wait a minute, what kind of project?" Hermione interrupted, her gaze flickering from one face to the other. "You're not planning on doing anything bad to him are you? You know that's against the rules!" 

As Hermione went on talking, she got more and more frantic. Ron and Harry exchanged glances, rolling their eyes in amusement. 

"Hey, calm down, would you?" Ron elbowed Hermione. "Do you think we're masochists or something? We're not planning to give Snape a reason to punish us more than he normally would." 

"Yeah," Harry nodded. "It's more for..." He searched for the right phrase. "Personal amusement." 

Hermione looked back and forth between the two, eyebrows raised. "How is a picture of Snape fun? And besides, you could just as soon find a picture in _Hogwarts' Staff, Past and Present_," she informed them. 

"We could," Ron agreed. "But then we couldn't keep it, could we?" 

"Why on earth would you _want_ to keep a picture of Snape?" Hermione asked, befuddled. 

"Because I need to work on my aim," Harry replied, pantomiming throwing a dart. 

Hermione gasped. "You want to make a picture of Snape into a dartboard?" she shrieked. 

"Hey, keep it down!" Ron cautioned. "We don't want that slimy old git to hear you and find new ways to torture us." 

Hermione spluttered in surprise. "I don't think that's such a good idea." 

"Why not?" Harry asked incredulously. "He's done his best to make our lives miserable from day one. All I want is to see him trying to dodge the darts I throw at him, even if it is only a picture version of him." 

Harry grinned at the image, and Ron actually cackled at the thought. 

"I can't believe you two," said Hermione, crossing her arms. 

* * *

In Snape's classroom after the next day's particularly tortuous Potions lesson, Hermione was hardly in a better mood. 

"I can't believe that man!" Hermione huffed, gathering up her books and shoving them into her bag haphazardly. "How could he possibly dock points from my essay for '_presenting too much information_'? Ron's essay is too short, Harry's is hardly even legible, but somehow he manages to give me a lower grade than both of them? I don't think so!" 

Harry and Ron watched in amusement as Hermione spouted off all the different reasons for her righteous indignation. "I bet you don't think that dartboard is such a bad idea now, do you?" Ron asked smugly. However, his demeanor changed when Hermione shot him a look that made him glad her wand was in her robes rather than in her hand. 

"I don't have to make some petty gesture to work out my frustrations about Snape. I'm going to talk to him, that's all. I'll just talk some reason into that greasy head of his!" With that, she grabbed her bag, turned on her heel, and almost ran out of the Potions room to catch up with Snape. 

Ron turned to look at Harry. "I suppose that means we'd better go with her. We have to make sure she doesn't get _too_ many points deducted." 

Harry shrugged and, after shoving his parchment back in his bag, followed Ron out into the hall. They looked to the left and right, but there was no hint as to which direction the two had taken. By silent accord they split up, Ron taking the right hall and Harry taking the left. 

Harry hadn't made it fifty yards when he came across Colin Creevy, who was struggling to shove all his books into a bag that didn't seem quite large enough for all of them. 

"Hey, Colin." 

"Hi, Harry!" The younger Gryffindor attempted to wave and dropped a couple of books in the process. Harry bent down to help him pick them up. 

"You didn't happen to see Hermione come down this hall just a couple of minutes ago, did you?" Harry asked as he stood again. 

Colin shook his head. "Nope. Why?" 

"She was on a rampage to find Snape and convince him that she deserved a higher grade on our last essay. And you know how Snape reacts when someone tells him he could possibly be wrong about something." Harry gave a rueful grin before continuing. "But since Hermione doesn't appear to be over here, she must have gone in the other direction. Ron already went, but they may need some backup. Do you want to come along as reinforcement?" 

Colin perked up at Harry's request. "Sure! Just let me get my camera out. This could be a prime opportunity to get Snape's picture." 

Harry laughed as they turned to head the other direction. "You know, I kind of wonder if it's possible to capture that man on film. Maybe he's like a vampire or something, and he's so evil that he won't show up in a picture." 

Colin giggled. "Nah, I've seen pictures of him before, so I know he will. However, I haven't seen any _recent_ pictures of him. It seems that he doesn't like cameras." 

"Just add it to the list of things he hates," Harry joked. "I'm sure it's a mile long, and my name is probably at the very top of it." 

"Well, I can't argue with you there," said Colin. "I know that he doesn't care for me, but I don't think I come close to meriting my own spot on his list. I'm probably just grouped with 'those annoying Gryffindors.'" 

Harry's steps slowed when he thought he heard something. "Shhhh," he whispered, looking around the corner into a hallway that converged with theirs. Further down, he could see Hermione arguing with Snape. Ron, who was supposed to be there to avert a fight, was yelling even more loudly than the other two. 

Harry sighed and cast a resigned look at Colin. "Looks like it's time for us to go in and break up the fight." He started to go, but stopped short. "On second thought, maybe you'd better stay here to be a witness. Just in case something should happen." Then he was hurrying down the hall to a red-faced Ron Weasley, a frustrated-looking Hermione, and a livid Snape. This was not going to be fun. 

As he neared the three of them, he heard snatches of insults and accusations amongst all the shouting . Snape was saying something about them setting a new record for the number of points lost by one house in a single day, Hermione was still raging about her marks on the essay and inumerable injustices her work had suffered at his hands, and Ron was yelling something about getting Dumbledore to fire Snape and get a real Potions Master for the job. 

Harry grimaced to think of what he was getting himself involved in, but resolutely took a deep breath and approached the three of them, arriving just as Ron was getting dangerously close to making some remark about Snape's personal hygiene. "Ron, Hermione, don't you think it might be a good idea if we went back to the common room -" 

"And the last member of the threesome simply _has_ to join in!" Snape snarled. To Harry it seemed as if his presence alone was the final straw for Snape: for a split-second Harry saw an unexpected flare of heat in the Potions Master's eyes, a fire that threatened to shatter his icy facade. But then again, perhaps he'd imagined it. In the next instant Snape had recovered his formidable self-control. "What is it this time, Potter?" he sneered silkily. "Can't bear to see your little friends make fools of themselves without being there to assist?" 

"No, Professor Snape," Harry said quietly. If he had to be the buffer that protected Ron and Hermione from Snape's anger, then he would be. Just as long as it was over soon. 

"Or perhaps Perfect Potter's so accustomed to being the best at everything that he's decided to surpass his little friends and be the best... at losing points for his House?" 

The sheer injustice of this took Harry's breath away. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Ron's hand moving towards the wand in his belt, but before Ron could do anything stupid, Harry stopped him by grabbing both wrists. 

"Go back to the dorm. Now, Ron." 

"What, and leave you alone here with _him_? I'm not about to abandon my best friend," Ron insisted defiantly. 

Harry snorted in frustration, then turned to face Hermione, who was glaring daggers at Snape. Harry couldn't see Snape's face, but he was pretty sure that the man was smirking in such a way that would make a Malfoy proud. "Hermione, will you please take Ron away from here? And both of you need to calm down! We really can't afford to lose any more points. No matter how many points we gain for them, the other Gryffindors are much more likely to remember all those that we've managed to lose." 

Hermione looked reluctant to go, but Harry begged her with his eyes. "Please." 

She finally nodded and, casting a final malevolent look at Snape, grabbed the shoulder of Ron's robe and marched him off down the hall. Harry heaved a sigh of relief that was cut short by the sound of applause. Turning, Harry looked at Snape in disbelief. The professor was leaning against the wall in the most negligent manner, clapping slowly. Pushing off from the wall, he began to circle Harry predatorily. 

"Well done, Potter. I imagine you'll just chalk this up as one time out of many that you've managed to save the day. You know, save your friends from the evil Slytherin who has it out for them, be a hero," Snape stopped to face Harry, not a foot away. "Unfortunately, your house is still going to lose 200 points for the impertinence and lack of proper respect." 

Harry glowered at Snape, and then cocked his head to the side. "Fine by me," he hissed. "I know that antagonizing us is your favorite past-time, and who am I to deny you that?" 

"Oh, sarcastic now, are we?" Snape goaded him. "Then let's put it this way: I like you and your two sidekicks so much that I would be absolutely heartbroken if you three didn't show up for a special detention in the dungeons all day this Saturday." 

Harry's jaw clenched in an attempt to hold back the nasty reply that was fighting to escape. Snape knew just exactly what he was doing, didn't he? Of course he would choose the Saturday of a Hogsmeade weekend. Harry counted to ten mentally, hoping to calm down a bit. It didn't work, so he gave up on cooling off. 

"Of course, Professor," he ground out. "You know we look forward to helping you out any way we can, what with your being so kind and understanding and fair all the time." 

Snape's mouth flattened into a hard line before he replied. "Good. Then tell your little friends to show up at 8:00, ready to work. That means no wands." 

Harry glared back up at Snape, refusing to look away. It was like a staring contest of sorts, with both men refusing to be the first to look away. The tension between the two was almost palpable, and Harry felt as though his eyes could begin shooting sparks as he stared angrily into Snape's coal-black eyes. 

All of the sudden, there was a click and a bright flash of light. Startled, Harry and Snape whirled to face the origin of the light, reaching instinctively for their wands. Harry saw Colin Creevy's retreating back and smiled. He'd taken the picture, then. 

Snape, however, was less than pleased. He shot Harry one last nasty look before stalking off down the hall after Colin, robes billowing sinisterly. Harry mused that the man sure as hell knew how to make an impressive exit. 

* * *

Ever since 'the fight' as they had come to call it, Potions had been even more unpleasant than ever before. The usual level of dislike in the room had been surpassed by far. Snape seemed to relish the animosity that was radiating from Hermione and Ron, but he absolutely reveled in Harry's seething anger. At every turn, Snape took whatever opportunity available to insult them, degrade them, mark their grades down, and subtract points. It was like an out-and-out one-sided war in the Potions classroom. 

The other Gryffindors watched in horror, waiting for the moment when Snape would push just hard enough that one of the three would be unable to refrain from fighting back. The Slytherins watched smugly and eagerly, awaiting what seemed like an imminent explosion. 

But each period came and went, and nothing happened during Friday's Double Potions besides the usual nastiness on Snape's part. 

By the time Saturday came around, they all needed an outlet for the anger that had been building inside of them. Harry felt vaguely like a pressure cooker that was retaining much more pressure than should be possible. None of them really complained much about going to detention in the dungeons, because at least they would be getting some energy out. However, they all hoped that Filch would be there to give them instructions, because no one wanted to see Snape. 

However, when they reached the dungeons, a surprise in the form of Colin Creevy was waiting for them. He was sitting on top of a desk, swinging his short legs back and forth. 

"Colin, what are you doing here?" asked Hermione. 

Colin glanced down at his hands, which were folded neatly in his lap. "Well, Snape kinda freaked whenever I took that picture the other day. When he caught up with me, he took my film and sentenced me to detention with you three. Lucky me, huh?" 

Ron nodded sympathetically, then stopped abruptly. "Wait, you mean that you didn't get to develop the picture of Snape?" 

Hermione shook her head at Ron. "No, of course he developed it. You know, he had a whole 43.5 seconds to do it before Snape caught him and took the film," she said sarcastically. 

"Oh, right," said Ron. "I didn't think about that." 

"Well, actually, I did get the picture developed," Colin corrected. "I switched the film in the camera with a used roll. Nifty stuff, magic is." 

Harry brightened at the news. "Really? Great! Let's see it, then." 

"See what, Mr. Potter?" 

Harry turned to face Snape, who had just entered the room. He searched his mind frantically for an excuse and went with the first one that seemed plausible. "A spell that the sixth years just learned in Charms," he answered quickly, adding under his breath, "not that it's any of your business." 

Snape gave him a sharp look. "Well, I'd be interested to see how he's going to manage a spell without his wand." 

"Would you? I think it would be quite interesting, too," Harry replied without missing a beat. 

Snape just looked at him. "Enough of your foolishness. I do believe it's time to get down to business. Since I know you cannot be trusted with much of anything having to do with Potions, so you four will be doing some manual labor that I have neither the time nor the inclination to do. Granger and Creevy, you two will wash out all the vials and scales while Potter and Weasley move all the desks. I've decided to change the seating up a bit." 

The sneer Snape shot at him at that point made Harry decidedly uneasy, but he nodded. Once they'd been given all necessary instructions and were well underway on their work, Snape left, informing them that they had better be done by the time he returned to check on them four hours later. 

They worked in silence for about ten minutes after he left. Harry and Ron lugged the desks about the room, grunting and sweating as they tried to move the heavy objects across the stone floor. When they'd finally managed to move just one desk to its new position, Ron stood back to wipe the moisture from his forehead. 

"Ugh, those things are heavy! I don't think we're going to be able to make it in four hours," he said bitterly. 

Hermione looked up at his words. "Are you kidding, Ron? Did you really think I was going to come up here without a wand? I brought one of Fred and George's old fake wands. If Snape had examined it, it would have turned into a rubber rat, but I have it charmed so that it will work for me. Now that Snape's gone, it'll only take us about 15 minutes to get it all done." 

Harry smiled and noticed that Colin had perked up considerably at Hermione's admission. 

"Have I told you lately that you're brilliant, Hermione?" Ron asked, grinning widely. "Of course, I never would have pegged you as the type to break rules in detention." 

Hermione shrugged. "Normally I wouldn't. But then again, it's not often that I'm put in detention because the professor is a complete and utter--" Hermione broke off, searching her extensive vocabulary for a suitable term that could describe the man without being obscene. When none were forthcoming, she dismissed the thought with a shake of her head. "I'm not going to strain myself doing any work for him." 

True to word, all the work was done in about a quarter of an hour, with the exception of one desk and a few scales that Hermione said they should pretend to still be working on when Snape came back. 

"So what do we do now?" Ron asked. "We've got about three hours and nothing to do." 

"I wouldn't say that," Colin said quietly. "I do have a certain picture that someone seemed eager to see earlier." Reaching into an inner pocket in his robes, he pulled out one 4-by-6-inch photograph and passed it to Harry. 

Harry took the picture eagerly, but frowned when he looked at it. "Why am I in the picture?" 

Colin looked apologetic. "Well, I wanted to get just Snape, but I was afraid that if I moved any closer, he would notice me and ruin the chance for a picture. Since I didn't have my telephoto lens that day, I couldn't help but include you in the picture." 

"Okay, the fact that you have a telephoto lens really disturbs me, but what you use it for is your business," Harry said, passing the picture on. 

Ron took the proffered photo and eyed it critically. "Harry, what are you and Snape doing?" 

Harry shrugged. "Having a bit of an argument." 

Hermione snatched the picture from Ron and studied it. "It looks like you're gazing raptly into his eyes...and that distance between you two isn't exactly decent," she said, eyeing Harry with a strange look on her face. 

"Look," Harry said defensively. "We had been arguing, and we were having a staring contest of sorts. It was actually kind of creepy." 

Colin nodded in agreement. "Yeah, it was rather strange. I don't know what would have happened if I hadn't taken the picture just then." 

"One of us would probably be dead right now," Harry joked. Ron and Colin laughed, but Harry noticed Hermione seemed preoccupied, still studying the picture. Then she looked up. 

"You know what? We should enchant this picture to move!" she suggested eagerly. "It would be more fun to see picture Snape and picture Harry fight, plus it'll be more fun to try and hit Picture Snape when he can move." 

Ron looked surprised. "You mean to say that you plan to use our little dartboard?" 

"Well, naturally," Hermione said, blushing a bit. "After what's happened this week, I'm of the opinion that Snape deserves that and worse." 

Colin looked back and forth between the two, then asked, "You mean that's what the picture is for? You're going to throw darts at it?" 

"Yeah," Harry admitted sheepishly. "When I asked you about it, I'd just come from a particularly unpleasant Potions lesson. Though I must say, it was nothing compared to the lessons we've had since 'the fight.'" 

"Well, I can enchant the picture if you want me to," Colin offered. "I've done it tons of times." 

Hermione handed over the wand and Colin proceeded to perform the enchantment. To make the best of the time remaining, they added a few spells to make the picture indestructible. That way, no matter how many times they hit it with darts, it would never be destroyed. It could even be burned and still survive intact. 

During the rest of the time, they watched in amusement as picture Snape and picture Harry argued ceaselessly, glaring daggers at each other. About 15 minutes before Snape's return, they went to finish the rest of their work. 

When Snape stalked in, Colin and Hermione were putting away the last of the scales and vials while Ron and Harry pushed the last desk into place, sweating from exertion. Snape's eyes swept the room, and while he seemed pleased to see Ron and Harry seemingly exhausted from the work, he appeared rather disappointed that they'd actually finished their respective jobs. 

The four students waited for his approval, but they really should have known better. Snape just cast them a disparaging glance before saying, "You're done, so get out of my sight...unless you want another detention." 

They were out the door in a matter of seconds, Harry patting the pocket that now contained the enchanted picture and casting a smug look back at the Potions Master. 

* * *

The picture was a big hit in the Gryffindor seventh year boy's dorm. They took turns assaulting Snape's image with darts, only occasionally hitting Harry in the process. Surprisingly enough, Neville seemed to have the best aim, always hitting Snape in the middle of the forehead with a resounding thunk. Thanks to the enchantments, the holes and tears disappeared once the darts were removed from the picture. 

"I tell ya, Harry," Seamus sighed. "I've never had such an enjoyable and satisfying therapeutic experience in my life. Thank you." 

"Don't thank me, thank Colin," Harry answered, smiling. He took aim and smiled even more widely when the dart connected with Snape's nose. 

Later that night, Hermione and Harry sat in front of the fireplace, both working on their Transfiguration homework. They talked only when necessary, both comfortable with the amiable silence. Quite suddenly, their solitude was interrupted by the sound of someone screaming and a door slamming shut loudly. 

"What's going on?" Hermione asked, startled. 

She craned her neck to see as Harry whipped around find the source of the commotion. It didn't take the two long to figure out that it was Seamus, who tended to be quite melodramatic. However, he was followed closely by Dean, Neville and Ron, who had apparently just run out of their dormitory room as well. Dean, Neville, and Ron all looked terrified, but Seamus was in even worse shape. He was as white as a sheet, wailing like a child. 

"Oh, my eyes! My eyes! I think I've been blinded!" 

Harry and Hermione ran over to them. 

"What happened?" Harry asked frantically. "What's in the room?" 

Seamus curled up on the couch, covering his eyes and wimpering as he rocked back and forth. Hermione ran over to check on him, but Dean, Neville, and Ron just stared at Harry as though he'd sprouted a few new heads. Ron made a strange choking sound, then fled to where Hermione and Seamus were. Dean and Neville continued to stare at Harry in horror. 

"What? What is it?" 

When he didn't receive an answer, Harry threw his hands up in frustration. "Okay, fine. I guess I'll go see for myself what it is. I just hope it's nothing dangerous," he muttered to himself as he headed for the door. 

Over at the couch, Seamus was mumbling about how he thought that was the kind of thing you had to pay to see, sounding quite disturbed. Ron tugged Hermione's arm in a panic. "Hermione, Hermione!" 

"What?" she asked impatiently, still trying to figure out what was wrong with Seamus. 

"You have to tell Harry that I didn't mean to do it! It was a mistake, really," Ron said, hands making frantic gestures. 

Hermione was about to ask exactly what he was talking about when another scream issued from the recently abandoned dorm. Then Harry ran out of the room and slammed the door shut, leaning back against it and breathing heavily. After he regained his breath and the use of his brain, Harry looked about the room suspiciously. 

"Okay, who did it?" he demanded. 

"Did what?" Hermione asked, wondering why Ron was scrambling to climb over the couch and hide behind it. 

"He did!" Dean and Neville said in unison, pointing right at Ron. Ron paused mid-movement and looked at Harry like a deer caught in the headlights of an on-coming 18-wheeler. A deer that knows it's not going to survive the impact. 

"No!" Ron shrieked desperately. "I didn't do it on purpose!" 

Harry approached Ron silently, a murderous gleam in his eye. "What, you're saying this wasn't some kind of awful, tasteless joke? That I shouldn't be mad at you for whatever the hell it was you did to that picture?" 

"What about the picture?" Hermione asked, completely lost. 

Ron laughed weakly. "It was a simple spell gone wrong. I was trying to cast something called a 'Secret Desires' enchantment that would make Picture Harry and Picture Snape do something they'd always wanted to do, but they'd always repressed." 

Harry actually growled at Ron, so Ron rushed to finish his explanation. "I just thought it would make it more fun, that Picture Harry and Snape would attack and try to kill each other or something...But obviously it messed up somewhere along the way!" 

Hermione still had no idea what was going on. "But Ron, it's no secret that Harry and Snape would probably love to kill each other. So the spell wouldn't have worked for that anyway." 

Ron glared at Hermione, who was apparently making his case worse. "Yeah, it would've helped if I'd known that _before_ I cast it, thanks." 

Harry still didn't look pacified. He was bright red, and he looked angrier than Hermione had ever seen him. "Ron, that still doesn't explain what's going on with the picture right now." 

"What is going on with the picture?" Hermione asked again. Everyone ignored her. 

"I just wanted to see Harry and Snape really get at it," Ron said weakly. 

Hermione looked at Dean in surprise when he started laughing. "Well, that certainly worked well, because they're sure 'getting at it' now...though not exactly the way you planned." 

Then Neville started laughing, and Harry's eyes blazed with new fire. He really looked like he was capable of doing physical harm to his roommates at that point. 

"Okay, since you people seem so dead-set against telling me what's going on, I'm going to see for myself," Hermione announced, standing up and marching toward the door. 

"You really don't want to do that," Neville warned her. She ignored him. 

The guys exchanged resigned looks as Hermione entered the room. Only moments later, no one was surprised to hear yet another scream come from inside the room. Hermione exited much the same way that Harry had, hand clapped over her mouth. After a minute, her wild eyes settled on Harry and she shrieked perhaps the worst thing possible for everyone in the common room to hear. 

**"Harry's secret desire is to get it on with Snape?!?"**

**TBC...**


End file.
